State Farm Insurance may claim to be “like a good neighbor” by always having your back, but would they really act like a good neighbor if you lived next to them? For example, would they perform one or more of these “good neighbor” deeds?

Have lawn etiquette

Keep the lawn mowed, especially in the late spring and early summer months when residential lawns turn into primordial grass meadows lush enough to hide small dinosaurs. If you don’t like to mow, at least buy a couple of voracious goats.

Handle your pets

We all love dogs but even the cutest darn dog in the world is a pain in the butt when it is barking for no reason at 3 am. Good neighbors do not let their dogs bark incessantly after dark so that the entire neighborhood is swearing like sleep-deprived sailors. Train your dog well or keep your dog inside at night.

Be considerate of noise

Everybody is entitled to have parties to celebrate festive events but that doesn’t mean your neighbors want to hear rap, metal, goth or other LOUD and ANNOYING music all day and night. Be respectful of your neighbors and keep the music down. If you want to throw a party that induces eardrum bleeding, rent a venue that permits music played at decibel levels only you and your friends can appreciate. (Be aware that if your neighbor likes your music so much, they just might invite the police to listen, too).

Be a respectful and safe driver

Dream of being a Nascar driver? Take your dreams to a real track and don’t live them out in your neighborhood by tearing out of your driveway and racing down the street. Neighbors with kids and elderly neighbors will start eyeballing you like hungry tigers eyeballing a helpless baby antelope–provoked, agitated and, well, not at all neighborly.

Respect property lines

Respect your neighbor’s property lines by reigning in loose dogs, hyperactive kids and yard clutter. Just because there is no fence demarcating where your property stops and your neighbor’s property begins doesn’t mean it’s yours to commandeer like Napoleon usurped most of Europe. Unless you and your neighbors are bosom buddies–stay out of their yard’s personal space.

While we aren’t for hire to help settle neighborly disputes, we are available to help you move in and out of your new home.

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